The Not So Curious Case of a Worry- Wart
I used to think that worrying was my only true talent. I can literally worry about anything. Even things that aren't directly related to me. My exams start on Tuesday and I'm freaking out haha. I do not know what it is I am afraid of exactly. Is it the possibility of failure? The fact that this is my last year of uni and I am heading out into the unknown? The fact that these exams could serve as some sort of evidence that I am not cut out to be a chemical engineer? I really don't know. I have tried to study hard for them but I cannot seem to stop panicking. Worrying is one of the main reasons why I haven't done my practical driving test; bear in mind that I've been taking lessons on and off since 2009. I only took my theory test last October because my dad literally forced me to book the test. I put my foot down at book the practical one as well because will be really expensive for me if I fail it an have to re-book it.
You might say that it is unlikely that I would fail my degree seeing as I have made it this far but, Chemical Engineering is sadly not a degree you can sail through via the "wingin' it" technique. Although, that is the same for a lot of degrees, if not all. I want to excel (who doesn't?), get that grad job and do brilliantly in my dissertation project but I don't want my natural ability to worry about the 100's of ways everything could go wrong to hinder me from achieving what I want to achieve.
I have turned to God several times about this but it seems I put things in His hands and then when I feel that I should be worrying and I'm not, I feel weird and take them out of His hands again to be in a place that is familiar to me which is sad lol. I pray that I do get to a point in my life where I am able to leave situations in the hands of God and go about my business as I am sure life will be a little bit stress-free.
For those of you who have a exams, good luck. For those of you who never have to have exams again, you are so lucky! :)
Till next time!
Luv, Mo xx